16 Mar

There are times I still fantasize about one day sharing with particular people everything I ever hoped to share with them. As if time will be reset and we will go back and still have a chance to do everything we dreamed of together without taking away from anyone or anything that happened in between. I’ll see a sunset or a mountain, a bit of Americana, and think, “oh, this person or that person would like that” and I’ll want to show it to them so we can share the moment once again, just for a moment. 

But life doesn’t work that way. It’s a ray always moving forward. It doesn’t go back no matter how much we sometimes want it to, and there are no do-overs. Funny thing, we never know where it’s going either. Hopes and dreams fade away and new ones take over, but they’re never really gone. They just collect there in our subconscious in the land of unfulfilled dreams and every once in a while something happens or we see something that causes us to take them out and reflect on them a while. Some come back as fond memories of a dear friend as we reflect on someone we will always care about. Others are harder to put back away, or they never really left our conscience and we think about them every day despite our best efforts. I don’t know if that means they are really good or really bad, but of our difficulty with letting them go there is no doubt. 

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just nostalgic. A silly aging man wondering what life’s about. Or maybe this is just the natural outcome of a life full and well-lived. I’ve always been one for experience with a heart full of memories of people loved and lost, of goods times and bad, of adventures and boredom, setbacks and progress. It sure has been a full life, interesting in its lessons that were often unexpected and oftener still did not match common sense, but in which reality, strange reality, always played a part. 

These ponderings push the troublesome memories down for a while and let me focus again on the moment. It’s the flow of life. We drift along, occasionally get caught on a rock or a little algae for a while and then we move on knowing sooner or later another will come along. (And if it’s too much later we miss it, wondering if – even hoping that – we haven’t stopped caring.) We take the respite, breath and sigh, then move along. Regardless of anything else that has ever happened, the sunset or sunrise is still beautiful. And life, this strange wonderful unpredictable existence, goes on. 

One Response to “Times”

  1. mary 2017/03/17 at 11:17 #

    if is the biggest word in English language 🙂
    i was writing about hearing someones whispers in their dreams,reaching out in mine
    i still hear them wonder why
    i want more these days, not monetary ..just a presence of mind that
    doesn’t fade if someone walks in a door….priorities and respect,
    not making me second best
    so to speak 🙂
    i heard this song about “if you were a better man,” had to smile
    because peter pan came up in the next thought…some will never grow up and be a man
    life is all about that moving forward, the Peter Pan’s of the world get left in the past, they
    will never dream of a future….

    nostalgia ….. moments of pause to feel the sadness of leaving the past behind
    to be in a better place for your spirit…you can only fix you

    your post made me smile Max….we seem to thinking on the same realm today 🙂
    Hope y’all are staying warm in all that snow, yep i wish i was there to be in Winter even if it is 3 days till Spring ….
    Take Care…You Matter
    just me

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