Tag Archives: suicide

Suicide note for the world

2 Sep

I wanted to send this to a friend, but realized it’s too much to lay on one person. It’s coming from a place of darkness within, a place we could all find ourselves at some point. It’s a place I’ve been to myself, but less so now. Sometimes it helps to let it out, before you bring about an untimely end. Sometimes talking to yourself is the best way to talk to God. I know it works, because it helped me at one point keep from killing myself. God really does work in mysterious ways.

Please, if anyone ever talks to you about committing suicide, take it seriously. They might just need to know somebody cares and be crying for help. You could make the difference between life and death. Isn’t that something to feel better about? You never know if or when you are a guardian angel. If you are still here, your life isn’t over yet and there must be a reason for that.

“What whispers do you hear right now? I think I really want to die. I’m pretty sure I mean it. The only reason I’ve stayed this long is the thought of what it would do to the kids. Maybe if I went away and they didn’t know what happened it would be ok. I don’t want anything else, I just don’t want to live. God will love me anyway, right? This has been building for a long time. I don’t think I ever loved myself and not sure I ever could. Life will go on either way, whether I’m here or not. I just don’t want to hurt my kids by leaving the world this way. It would be easier if somebody did me in, but they’d know I let it happen anyway so why bother except to spare them from blaming themselves? It’s no one else’s fault. I was born this way, not wanting to be here, wanting to go home from the start. But my home never was here. I don’t fit in and never have. This world, it just is what it is and I’m not in it. I’m just here taking up space and wishing I could just go home to wherever that is. Away from other people, away from me and thinking about myself instead of God. I just don’t want to exist any more, not like this, feeling separate and alone away from Him, away from me. This existence is not my home. It is not for me.”

Just be happy for your life. You’ll never know when you were there for someone when they needed it most. Thank you Maryrose. May you have a blessed night.


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